Friday, February 18, 2011

Online Shopping Justified.

So i'm still waiting for my blazer to arrive. While the anticipation hasn't killed me yet it has left me in something of a frenzy, scuttling out to the reception area every day to go through the post parcels only to walk away empty handed and crestfallen.

The advantage of having your online purchases sent to your work address, if this is a viable option for you, is that your productive and mundane days at work are peppered with the arrival of, what has come to be known in our office as, "presents". This coming from the mentality that  opening each parcel is just like Christmas. Except you always know that you're getting something that you like.

Everyone's a winner.

Online shopping also has wider benefits, allowing you to expand your circle of acquaintances as you tend to become quite well known to the Post, FedEx and UPS delivery men and the better your relationship with them, the earlier they will visit you on their round. Its times like these where a sultry smile or a wink is in order. On a related note, if you're single, its a good way to meet men, you know that they have a job and while Post and UPS leave a little to be desired, i'm yet to meet an unattractive FedEx delivery man.


It has been suggested that if a package arrives for you and you need more than 30 seconds to remember what it is or if you open a parcel and are genuinely surprised at receiving the item due to your forgetting that you'd ordered it that you need to take a break from online shopping. It is imperitive that you find a substitute during your online shopping blockout, if you don't you'll be drawn in by the sneaky offer emails, whoring themselves and their one day offers. You'll snap and make an impulsive purchase that you really didn't need. Yes. I'm looking at you ASOS, you with your slutty free international shipping...don't think I dont know what you're trying to do.

The remedy, you ask?

Use your spending ban to perform the ever necessary wardrobe cleanout and rather than donate your unworn size 26 acid wash skinny leg jeans that you bought 2 sizes to small because they were the last pair and were such a bargain, sell them...believe me there is some 19 having hipster boy with no butt out there that wants that exact pair.

Ebay is a cash cow, make her your bitch.

The rule:
If you havent' worn it in at least 1 year..sell it.
If its 6 months old and still has the tags attached...sell it.
If it has a kitten heel...sell it.
If you're still hanging on to it because you're planning to lose the weight you put on 2 Christmases ago...sell it.
If its made of spandex, taffetta or looks like MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Milli or Vanilli would have worn it and is not for an upcoming dress-up party...punch yourself in the face and then sell it.

Free up some space in your wardrobe and take the pressure of your credit cards. You'll be surprised how quickly it adds up and even more surprised when you're able to peruse the Isabel Marant section of Net-A-Porter without touching your bank account or having your credit card retract in fear and begin plotting your untimlely demise. Best Blogger Tips

1 comment:

  1. confession: online shopping is a guilty pleasure of mine.

    weird part: I online shop the MOST when I've assignment deadlines around the corner. when I'm stressed I've the need to shop. the internet offers so much. ah, don't u love technology? ;p

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